Potvin Newsly

Thursday, December 20, 2007

Tuberculosis Under the Christmas Tree

Filed under: Disease,Holidays,News — Jill Hater @ 2:43 pm
Tags: , , , , ,

Another article posting; This one was special because it concerned patients escaping from a hospital that was not a mental institution or a secret prison disguised as a hospital.

To quote the articles’ headlines (which are here and here), “49 Highly Infectious Tuberculosis Patients Escape From South African Isolation Unit,” and “23 Escaped TB Patients Remain at Large.” I must credit the newsfolk: They know how to grab my attention with their headlines.

According to the articles, there is something of an isolated building that does nothing but house people with extremely brutal tuberculosis. This building is surrounded by a metal fence, and the patients somehow cut gaps in the fence to escape. The impressive thing is that 49 patients did not escape together, but rather 49 people in all escaped between Wednesday and Friday. So, for three days, somebody at the hospital was definitely not doing their fucking job. This disease is scary enough for you to resort to building a mini-prison on your hospital lot, but not scary enough for you to conduct an at least once daily headcount of the patients. Bravo, South African hospitals.

Apparently, these patients escaped from the hospital (I can’t stress those words enough) to go see their families for the holidays. If that sounds insane to you, then maybe you should’ve been infected with tuberculosis, not them (you wouldn’t escape, right?).

I can see the holiday festivities now.

Stephen: Merry Christmas, mom!
Stephen’s Mom: Stephen! Oh what a great surprise! (Hugs her son and kisses him on the cheek.) I thought they weren’t going to let you out of the hospital…?
Stephen: Oh, they weren’t! I had to escape from the isolation unit they were keeping me in!
Stephen’s Mom: Isolation uni-
Stephen: Yeah! They didn’t want us to leave because of our highly infectious extremely multi-drug resistant incurable tuberculosis infections!
Stephen’s Mom: (Shocked silence)
Stephen: Where’s the gingerbread cookies? Mom? Hell-o?

So far, 23 of the crazies are “still at large,” a term I might have considered using if they were horse thieves or bank robbers. Now the South African authorities are threatening to use door-to-door searches to find them. Why waste time? Go to their families’ houses, dumbasses. On top of that, what policeman is going to want to arrest somebody in that condition? You might as well try to get them to subdue someone who has an airborne-contagious HIV infection. Fuck.

Have a deadly New Year. Tuberculosis.

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